Dear P.Z.A,

Nearly 40 years after we first met, it is time to finally say good-bye.

Believe me, I never thought it would end like this. My guts were tight, as I finally determined last night, that our chemistry just doesn’t match. Our future was written in the the dirty dishwater…

Your attempts to persuade me of your authenticity in Italy, with a bottle of local wine, in high end establishments, and around our homely hearth kept me curious, wondering and interested for many years, and yet it always boiled down to the same ingredients that put a wrench in our evenings together.

Like all long-term arrangements, a part of me is sad that we just couldn’t work out the details, but I’m done feeling bogged down, and sniffly after our encounters. Enough is enough.

Trying to change your basic nature made you so unreliable, flaky and irritatingly dry. So much that even the things that always pleased me about you didn’t go down well anymore. So I release you to charm others around the dinner table, until they too may see your true nature.

Good bye pizza (P.Z.A.), good-bye you glutenous, cheese, tomatoey friend. May your next incarnation be less sticky, less inflammatory, but just as appetizing~

yours truly,

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